Anshula Kapoor’s Candid Confessions

After satisfying her inner entrepreneurial urge, Arjun Kapoor’s sister Anshula Kapoor turns author; her debut book will be published by Penguin India.

From penning down her innermost fears and body struggles to candidly talking about her family, losing her mother to cancer, and self-love, Anshula’s memoir will be worth a read.

But before you get your hands on it, Namrata Thakker gives you a glimpse into what to expect from Anshula’s book basing on her candid confessions on social media and interviews.

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

Anshula has always been vocal about her life and struggles on social media.

Unlike her siblings, Anshula was never interested in films.

In an interview, Ms Kapoor revealed, ‘My family has always been interested in the industry and the professions they are in. I, as a child, didn’t know what I wanted to do. Acting never came to me as a calling.

‘I am very camera shy. I’ve always been academically-inclined, I was always the nerd reading when everyone had a good time. I still enjoy reading my books more than anything else.’

No wonder, writing one came to her naturally.

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

Talking about her fitness journey and body positivity, Anshula writes on Instagram, ‘For me today, being ‘healthy’ means so much more than what I look like in the mirror. One of my first steps to becoming a healthier me was to acknowledge that mentally I wasn’t in the best place, and that I had to address what was eating me from the inside before I could even begin working on anything else.

‘This was the most uncomfortable part. And the most difficult part too. It took so much therapy. So many tears. So much uncertainty. Fear. Setbacks. Discomfort. Self doubt. Then came the self realizations. Thus began the healing.

‘It’s been a 2 year long journey, and I’m still a work in progress. It’s taken me almost as long to realize that my self worth isn’t tied to the shape of my body, and that constantly belittling or criticizing my imperfections — flaws isn’t doing me any good – regardless of whether that flaw is emotional or physical.

‘I’m still learning to love the perfectly imperfect me that I’m discovering and leaning into, because life is too short to live it thinking you’re unworthy or unlovable. I am flawed, and still worthy.’

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

Coping with mother Mona Shourie’s death hasn’t been easy for Anshula. On her mom’s birth anniversary last year, she posted a picture on Instagram with a heartfelt message note. ‘Somehow every year it gets harder and harder to know that we’re without you. I miss you, but I think what I miss more and grieve for more is the fact that I can’t physically share my wins & losses, my ups and downs, my joys, my insecurities, my people with you anymore.

‘It breaks me knowing that you would want to be front and center, being our loudest cheerleader, and biggest protector, and that you physically can’t. I hope you can see us from wherever you are, and I hope we’ve been able to show you that we carry your teachings with us everyday, and I hope you’re proud of who we’re becoming.

‘Miss you everyday. I hope… that’s all we can do to keep our faith alive.’

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

Anshula advises her followers to chase joy instead of perfection: ‘3 months ago I remember having a conversation with Priyam Ganeriwal about swimming costumes, and I remember telling her I would never wear a bikini, I just couldn’t pull it off and I don’t have the confidence to be comfortable in one. Her response was simple — ‘Why not? I think you should totally wear one.’

‘Why was I hesitant? Because I’m so used to thinking that I need a particular body type to be able to wear certain clothes.. I’m so conditioned to wanting to hide my body and ‘play it safe’, its like my default setting is to always be like, ‘No, I can’t pull that off.’ And I’m learning to change this.

‘This image has been sitting in my drafts for a couple of weeks, because I still have what we call bad body image days. And on days like that I convince myself that only ‘perfect’ photos belong on the feed..

‘I’m still learning to un-hate my body, I’m learning to be okay with my body even on days when she’s bloated or not looking her best. It is okay to be covered in stretch marks, it is normal to have cellulite & texture, skin is meant to fold and roll, and my FUPA is always going to be a part of me and that’s okay too.

‘I’m glad I took a chance and bought the bikini. This was one of my favorite days on our holiday.. I felt confident, I felt comfortable in my own skin. This is me chasing joy instead of perfection. And I actually can’t wait to wear this bikini again.’

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

According to Arjun’s sister, grief is an all encompassing emotion.

‘I can write an essay around grief. Grief is a whole different ballgame. Processing grief with every relationship that you lose or every loved one that you lose… or if a phase of life is over and you are grieving that phase… Grief is all-encompassing as an emotion.’

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

While the Kapoor family’s dynamics have changed drastically in the recent years, for Anshula, his brother Arjun will always remain closest to her.

She reveals on Instagram, ‘You are the reason I breathe, my most favorite human and the most important person in my life. The man whose love knows no bounds, who has always made me feel like the most cherished person on earth.

‘Bhai, you are the reason I have the strength to wake up every morning. You have been my guardian, my protector, my parent, my friend, my brother, my confidant, my lifeline.

‘You’ve parented me like a father, even though you were a kid yourself when you became that person for me. You’ve given me your strength when I’ve had none of my own.

‘You’ve always been there to catch me before I fall, you’ve taught me how to fight, how to rise again, how to keep my head held high and smile.’

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

‘You know my deepest fears, my darkest thoughts, all the dragons in my head and all the demons I fight with every day — and you love me despite all that. You make me feel loved every day. You make me feel cherished, beyond loved. You make me feel like I matter.

‘YOU are my home. And Your love for me makes me believe I am worthy of love. For this and for infinite more reasons, You are my number one, the best person I know, my anchor, my North Star, my most favorite human, my heartbeat, and the best gift mom could have given me.

‘I don’t ever want to live in a world that you’re not in. Love you to infinity. I’ve got your back, and you’ve got mine. Always and forever.’

Photograph: Kind courtesy Anshula Kapoor/Instagram

While Arjun will continue to be Anshula’s pillar of strength, the 33-year-old adores her half sisters, Janhvi and Khushi Kapoor.

During a Q&A session on Instagram, she spoke about her bonding with her three siblings and said, ‘Their heart, their strength, their ability to look at the bright side even on the not so good days… That they can make me laugh at the stupidest things and without reason hahaha… But mostly I love that I get to call them MINE.’