Forget
smarts
or
cheek,
there’s
little
novelty
to
be
found
in Jewel
Thief’s juvenile
script,
barring
its
now
free
usage
of
the
F-word
to
make
it
sound
all
hip
and
adult,
observes
Sukanya
Verma.
The
idea
of
a
jaunty
Saif
Ali
Khan
sparring
with
a
badass
Jaideep
Ahlawat
sounds
delicious
on
paper.
By
the
time
it
makes
it
on
screen
though,
Jewel
Thief:
The
Heist
Begins
is
akin
to
a
sada
dosa
delivery
for
an
order
requesting
masala.
The
spice
factor
is
sorely
missing
in
director
duo
Kookie
Gulati
and
Robbie
Grewal’s
bland,
banal
heist
caper,
which
has
nothing
to
do
with
Vijay
Anand’s
1967
classic
of
the
same
name
except
a
cursorily
doffed
hat.
Already
abundant
Hindi
hack
jobs
of
the
ilk
have
moviegoers
well-versed
in
the
art
of
big-screen
robbery
involving
the
same
old
tricks
of
nicking
passwords
and
fingerprints,
cracking
codes
and
combinations,
dodging
high
security
and
noisy
alarms
to
feel
any
real
excitement
around
Jewel
Thief’s
surprisingly
low
stakes
burglary.
It
doesn’t
help
that
the
sought-after
Africa
Ka
Kohinoor,
known
as
the
Red
Sun,
looks
like
a
cheap
Christmas
ornament
that
our
protagonists
tell
us
is
valued
at
Rs
500
crore
(Rs
5
billion)
in
the
underworld
market.
Rajan
Aulakh
(Jaideep
Ahlawat),
a
former
mobster
hoping
to
find
footing
as
a
reputable
businessman,
schemes
to
refill
his
coffers
and
appease
a
deadpan
kingpin
(Loitongbam
Dorendra
Singh)
by
hiring
Rehan
Roy
(Saif
Ali
Khan).
Roy
is
the
archetypal
smooth
operator
living
up
to
the
movie’s
title
against
fancy
European
destinations
when
not
harbouring
daddy
issues
or
trying
to
get
cops
off
his
back
as
a
wanted
man
in
India.
It’s
awkward
watching
the
54-year-old
still
harping
over
broken
ties
with
his
virtuous
Baba
(Kulbushan
Kharbanda)
or
mouthing
cheesy
pick-me-ups
like
‘Tum
jo
churati
ho
woh
dikhta
nahi’
to
Vaani
Kapoor’s
doppelganger
(Nikita
Dutta).
Bit
of
a
stretch
even
for
the
ever-so-disarming
Saif
to
pull
off
such
dated
ploys.
What’s
worthy
of
attention
is
how
dandy
Jaideep
looks
in
his
crime
lord
avatar.
He’s
straight
out
of
an
ornate
Korean
villain
catalogue
sporting
scars,
diamonds
and
tattoos
whilst
adding
a
touch
of
desi
in
his
Ram
Jaane-inspired
suits.
The
actor
appears
to
be
having
a
wild
time
bumping
off
his
loyal
lot
for
effect
and
throwing
attitude
in
a
movie
that
is
too
run-of-the-mill
to
whip
up
anything
else.
And
so
everyone
gets
an
entry
to
assert
their
role
in
the
David
Logan-penned
school
play,
er
screenplay.
Rajan
kills.
Rehan
steals.
Vikram
hunts.
Lattermost,
played
by
Kunal
Kapoor,
is
a
cop
hot
on
their
trail
with
eureka
powers
that
show
up
only
when
it’s
too
late.
There’s
a
blue-haired
gamer
girl
jumping
in
and
out
to
Saif’s
rescue
—
no
questions
asked
—
as
randomly
as
a
fly
passing
in
and
out
of
a
room.
Jewel
Thief,
produced
by
Siddharth
Anand
of
Pathaan,
Fighter
fame,
wishes
to
render
an
international
quality
to
its
neon-pink
and
moody
reds
lit
action.
It’s
alright
when
limited
to
picturesque
Budapest
and
funky
electronic
background
music
but
pure
cringe
when
resorting
to
racism
for
cheap
chuckles.
Like
the
scene
with
a
Japanese
tourist
in
Mumbai’s
art
centre
ensuing
in
the
usual
hakka
noodles
and
sushi
jibes.
I
don’t
know
what
part
of
Africa
Red
Sun
belongs
to
but
a
member
of
its
aristocracy
decides
the
best
way
to
transport
the
diamond
safely
is
carry
it
on
a
commercial
plane
accompanied
by
a
bunch
of
portly
bodyguards
of
different
nationalities.
At
one
point,
the
precious
gem
goes
AWOL
and
this
costumed
fella
screeches,
‘I
want
my
red
sun
back’
like
a
landlord
demanding
rent
while
the
heist-turned-hijack
tries
to
justify
itself
as
an
act
of
service.
Forget
smarts
or
cheek,
there’s
little
novelty
to
be
found
in
Jewel
Thief’s
juvenile
script,
barring
its
now
free
usage
of
the
F-word
to
make
it
sound
all
hip
and
adult.
Except
India’s
OTT
original
film
scene
is
nowhere
close
to
coming-of-age.
Truth
be
told,
the
vault
is
pretty
much
empty
in
Jewel
Thief
and
Saif-Jaideep’s
momentary
banter
is
its
only
source
of
sparkle.
Jewel
Thief:
The
Heist
Begins
streams
on
Netflix.
Jewel
Thief:
The
Heist
Begins
Review
Rediff
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