‘We all have mothers, and all our mothers have stories.’
Farzana Palathingal‘s performance in Balan has earned widespread praise, but the actress’ journey to her first feature film was anything but conventional.
An occupational therapist who grew up in Dubai, Farzana discovered acting almost by accident through theatre before quitting her job, moving to Mumbai, and slowly building a career through advertisements and music videos.
In a chat with Rediff‘s Rishika Shah, Farzana talks about waiting for the right opportunity, transforming herself into a grey character in Balan, and why playing a mother in her debut film never felt like a risk.
‘I Never Had An Ambition To Become An Actor’
Unlike many actors who dream of cinema from childhood, Farzana says acting wasn’t always part of the plan.
Growing up in Dubai, she initially chose a completely different career path and studied occupational therapy, inspired in part by her younger brother’s experiences with ADHD.
“I never really had any sort of ambition that this is what I want to do,” she says.
Acting entered her life when she was studying at Manipal University through a theatre audition she attended almost on a whim.
“I thought it was fun. You get to go on stage and be whoever you want to be. You can do whatever you want to do and you won’t be judged for it.”
What began as a two-line role quickly turned into a passion. After returning to Dubai, she continued performing in theatre alongside her day job before deciding to take a leap of faith.
“I quit my job, packed my bags, and moved to Mumbai,” she says.
The move led to advertisements; music videos — including the popular Anuv Jain song Jo Tum Mere Ho — and countless auditions before Balan finally arrived.
‘Whatever Is Yours Will Come Your Way’
At 32, Farzana is making her film debut at an age when many actors are already several projects into their careers. But she doesn’t view her journey as one of waiting or missed opportunities.
“I had some faith that if something is meant for me, it will come my way. I don’t need to rush it,” she says.
That didn’t mean sitting idle.
She auditioned constantly and actively pursued opportunities but says she never attached her self-worth to the outcome.
“If something didn’t work out, I knew it was probably for something. Whatever gives me happiness and contentment, I’m willing to do. The day it stops being that, I’ll move forward.”
‘I Would Wake Up In The Morning, Wear A Sari And Think About…’
One of the most striking things about Farzana’s performance in Balan is how completely she disappears into the character, a woman whose life is worlds away from her own.
Having grown up in Dubai and rarely worn a sari, Farzana spent months preparing for the role. The first instruction from the filmmakers was simple: Gain weight.
Her character (whose name we never know) was a woman who performed physical labour every day, and Farzana wanted her appearance to reflect that reality.
She spent three months eating freely and then immersed herself in the character’s everyday life.
“I would wake up in the morning, wear a sari and think about how she would walk, talk, brush her teeth, sweep the floor…”
She even learned practical skills such as cleaning prawns and making dosa for scenes in the film.
“These may not seem important, but they help you embody the character.”
She carried a notebook throughout the shoot, writing down the character’s thoughts for every scene so she could stay emotionally connected to her even when scenes were shot out of sequence.
‘I want to do everything — rom-coms, action thrillers, horror, musicals’
Many actresses might hesitate before making their debut as a mother, worried about being typecast. Farzana never saw it that way.
“What struck me about the character was that she’s so grey,” she says.
Rather than the stereotypical self-sacrificing mother often seen in films, she is capable of both tenderness and selfishness.
“There are moments where you think she’s truly selfish. At the same time, she’s playing with the cards life has dealt her. She’s trying her best.”
For Farzana, the complexity of the character outweighed any concerns about image.
“Why shouldn’t I be doing a role of a mother? We all have mothers, and all our mothers have stories.”
She admits typecasting is a reality in the industry but believes actors have the power to challenge those perceptions through their choices.
“I want to do everything — rom-coms, action thrillers, horror, musicals.”
Finding A Son In Adhisheshan
A major reason Balan works is the believable bond between Farzana’s character and her son, played by Adhisheshan K R. Farzana laughs while recalling their first meeting during a chemistry test.
“He was so uncomfortable. They told him, ‘She’s going to be your mother,’ and he said, ‘No, I don’t want to call her my mom!'”
Rather than forcing the relationship, she gave the young actor time and space to warm up naturally, and coming from an occupational therapist background really helped.
The result was a connection that feels effortless on screen.
“When you’re acting with a child, they come in their most authentic form. They’re not thinking about lights or cameras. He challenged me to be as authentic and present as he was.”
‘Mr Chidambaram Made The Set Feel Safe’
Farzana credits Director Chidambaram for creating an atmosphere where actors weren’t afraid to experiment.
“He knew exactly what he wanted and exactly how to get it from his actors,” she says.
Despite having a clear vision, he never dictated every movement or expression.
“He would give me the brief for a scene and then let me explore it. If he liked it, we’d move on. If not, he’d gently redirect me.”
For a first-time film actor, that trust proved invaluable.
“When you know your director won’t let you fail, you’re no longer afraid of making mistakes.”
She also remembers the atmosphere on set fondly.
“The seriousness existed only between ‘action’ and ‘cut’. The rest of the time, we were laughing and having fun.”
While Balan also stars Tovino Thomas, Farzana did not share screen space or shoot days with him. In fact, they met for the first time at the film’s first-day-first-show screening.
The Scene She Found Hardest To Shoot
Surprisingly, the most emotionally difficult scene wasn’t one involving violence or grief. It was shouting at young Adhisheshan.
“I’m not someone who shouts in real life, especially at a child,” she says. “Even getting those words out of my mouth was difficult. We did several takes, and he was patient throughout.”
Asked which scene she’s proudest of, Farzana immediately points to the film’s climax.
“When I watched it on screen, I could suddenly see both sides of her. You see the darkness in what she’s doing, but at the same time, you see her helplessness. I actually felt proud of myself after watching that scene.”
Did The Mother And Son Have Any Actual Names?
Although Balan never reveals the real names of the mother and son, Farzana says she quietly invented names for both while preparing for the role. Names only she knows.
“I’ve never shared them with anyone,” she says with a laugh. “Not even the director.”
It’s perhaps the perfect illustration of the care with which she approached her first film. Every detail, even those that would never appear on screen, mattered As for how she’d like audiences to remember her years from now, her answer is simple.
“More than me as an actor, I’d like people to remember the characters I’ve played and how they made them feel.”
For someone who spent months figuring out how a character would walk, think, cook and even brush her teeth, disappearing into a character isn’t just part of the job, it’s the kind of actor Farzana Palathingal hopes to become.
