Moana Review: Another Pointless Disney Remake

The live-action Moana faithfully recreates the original, but rarely captures its magic, laments Sreeju Sudhakaran.

It doesn’t matter if there’s a recession. It doesn’t matter if inflation is soaring. If you’re someone fuelled by nostalgia, or have kids who don’t know any better, well, watch out for Disney. They’re coming for your money!

Never mind that the nostalgia isn’t even for the ’80s or the ’90s anymore. It’s just… 2016.

2016 was the year the animated Moana sailed into theatres.

It was one of Disney’s loveliest offerings, with great songs, breathtaking visuals, a delightful use of Dwayne Johnson’s larger-than-life persona, a respectful celebration of ancient Polynesian culture and, of course, the daftest rooster ever, Heihei.

Did we really need a live-action remake that is virtually a scene-for-scene, song-for-song and design-for-design recreation?

Or rather, less of a live-action remake and more of a photo-realistic adaptation that swaps animated characters for real actors, throws The Rock into his human form along with, admittedly, a very capable human cast?

Seen This, Seen That…

I certainly missed Auliʻi Cravalho’s voice, but Catherine Laga’aia proves, nonetheless, to be a worthy replacement. She shares an easy chemistry with Mr Johnson, and her singing is lovely.

When she hits that soaring I am Moana… note during what I believe is the third rendition of How Far I’ll Go, it landed just as beautifully as when Cravalho sang it a decade ago.

And yet, I felt nothing magical watching this new version because the original still feels so fresh in my memory. Not just because I first watched it 10 years ago and then repeatedly revisited it thanks to my niece’s obsession with the film.

It’s because this is essentially the exact same story, now populated by real people against digitally created backdrops, without bringing anything genuinely new to the table.

So yes, we once again follow Moana (Catherine Laga’aia), the spirited daughter of the chief of Motunui, as she embarks on a forbidden voyage across the ocean to save her island from extinction.

Her mission is to return the Heart of Te Fiti, stolen long ago by the demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson), so that the curse upon the islands can finally be lifted. The ocean chose Moana as a child after she helped a baby turtle escape a flock of birds and safely return to the sea, gifting her the lost heart stone.

Nitpicking the Screenplay

Okay, now I’m going to get a little bitchy.

Since Disney has chosen to remake the film almost beat for beat, I’m going to nitpick the screenplay.

In the thousand years since the Heart of Te Fiti disappeared, did not a single other person perform an act of kindness worthy enough for the ocean to choose them? What does that say about humanity?

Secondly, once a certain character’s true identity is revealed in the finale, I couldn’t help asking: why did the ocean need Moana to deliver the heart when it could have done it itself?

Throughout the film, the ocean functions as the ultimate deus ex machina, rescuing Moana whenever necessary, lifting her back onto the raft after she’s swept away and constantly nudging her towards the right destination. So it could also have done this task itself, instead of turning a teenage girl into its personal Amazon delivery employee.

Also, little Moana could simply have carried the baby turtle to the sea instead of shading it while it slowly waddled there. Okay, now I’m being a bit too bitchy.

So Moana must now find Maui because only he can restore the Heart to its rightful place. Thankfully, Ocean Ex Machina conveniently drops her onto the exact island where Maui has been stranded ever since losing his magical fishhook during his battle with Te Kā, the gigantic lava monster looking out for the Heart.

Even if it’s largely Dwayne Johnson repeating the same performance now in front of the camera, this version noticeably comes alive whenever he’s on screen. His charisma remains infectious, although the film oddly doesn’t trust his own imposing physique enough and wraps him in what often resembles a rubber suit.

Maui’s smugness, his banter with both Moana and his animated tattoos, still raises smiles, even if those jokes only work briefly before reminding you that you’ve already laughed at them 10 years ago.

Even Heihei’s antics lose their value in the deja vu-ness of it all. 

Disney’s Questionable Remake Strategy

The remake is directed by Thomas Kail, best known for helming the Broadway productions of Hamilton and In the Heights. I’m still not entirely sure why he was chosen.

Was it because the film has musical portions, with several songs written by his long-time collaborator Lin-Manuel Miranda?

Or perhaps, after making those gruelling stage productions and the acclaimed Fosse/Verdon, the man simply deserved an easy payday.

To be fair, Kail does a competent job translating the film into a photo-realistic format. But when it comes to giving it a personality of its own… well, nobody at Disney seemed to order one.

Look, I’m totally annoyed with Moana. It isn’t a bad film like Snow White.

It just can’t justify its own existence, much like the Mulan remake.

At least The Lion King remake revisited a film that was over two decades old. At least, the Aladdin remake gave us Will Smith’s wildly different take on the Genie.

What does Moana offer?

Apart from gifting Hollywood a talented newcomer… nothing.

It is just Disney flexing that whatever it could create in animation, it can now recreate inside green-screen studios using visual effects and, who knows, perhaps AI too. In doing so, however, it loses the vibrant warmth and visual charm that animation naturally provides.

Everything that works here, whether it’s the celebration of Polynesian culture or Jemaine Clement’s monstrous coconut crab, Tamatoa, belting out Shiny (cut together more frantically than the original because of all the VFX), had already worked in the animated film.

Even the emotional core lands to some extent, about a young girl reclaiming her tribe’s forgotten legacy while helping a demigod come to terms with the greatest mistake he made in his desperate need for human approval. It feels effective, because we’ve already experienced it all before.

What doesn’t work is the remake’s very existence.

And Disney’s relentless need to turn every beloved animated classic into live action simply because it can.

Is Frozen next? Or Encanto? ‘Cos, our nostalgia is always up for sale.