‘Acting Is In My Karma’

‘When
I
was
shooting

Aashiqui,
I
would
hear
comments
like
“Yeh
toh
bahut
lambi
hai.
Heroine
nahin
dikhti
hai”.’
‘But

Aashiqui
became
such
a
big
hit,
and
you
know
how
the
industry
is.’
‘You
have
success,
then
you
have
everything.’

Anu
Aggarwal
has
always
been
an
enigma.

From
lip-syncing
to
popular

Aashiqui
songs
to
enacting
unconventional
roles
to
disappearing
from
films,
the
actress
has
made
brave,
individualistic,
choices.

Courage
is
also
what
Anu
exhibited
after
a
life-threatening
car
accident.

Instead
of
upending
her
life,
adversity
encouraged
her
to
travel
further
on
the
path
towards
self-discovery.

“International
Creative
Management,
one
of
the
largest
talent
management
agencies
in
Los
Angeles,
wanted
to
take
me
on.
But
that
is
also
the
time
I
wanted
to
take
a
break.
I
had
started
meditating.
What
more
can
you
give
me
which
my
country
hasn’t
already
given?”,
Anu
tells

Dinesh
Raheja.

How
do
you
look
back
on
your
smash
hit
debut

Aashiqui
(1990)?

Aashiqui
made
me
a
star,
and
it
showed
me
the
stars.

A
transformation
happened
in
me,
and
I
was
grateful.

I
had
interviewed
you
in
your

Khal-Naaikaa
days
in
1993,
and
I
recall
you
liking
my
headline:
‘Cat
Among
The
Pigeons’.

The
headline
made
me
smile,
and
then
it
made
me
think.
Your
interview
and
your
perspective
of
me
was
so
on
the
mark.

I’ll
give
you
an
analogy
why.
I
once
wrote
about
how
I’m
walking
on
the
bank
of
a
river
alone
when
everyone
else
is
huddled
in
groups
trying
to
swim
inside
the
river
(the
mainstream).

You
were
definitely
unique.
That
helped
you
generate
a
brief
but
memorable
film
career.

I
was
clear
about
what
I
wanted
to
do.

After
the
success
of

Aashiqui,
I
got
hundreds
of
offers.

I
refused
so
many
films
because
they
wanted
me
to
play
the
romantic

Aashiqui
girl.
Instead,
I
worked
with
directors
who
gave
me
some
great
roles.
I
wanted
to
play
different
roles
as
an
actor.

Mani
Ratnam
saw
me
as
an
underworld
queen
for
his

Thiruda
Thiruda.

Sawan
Kumar
Tak
offered
me
the
title
role
in

Khal-Naaikaa.

In

King
Uncle,
Rakesh
Roshan
gave
me
the
role
of
a
Goan
girl,
Fanny,
which
was
different
from
any
other
role
that
I
played.

Did
you
gel
with
a
commercial
director
like
Sawan
Kumar
Tak?

He
used
to
stand
up
every
time
I
entered
the
set.
I
was
humbled
by
how
much
respect
Sawan
Kumar
would
give
me.

Why
didn’t
you
work
with
Mahesh
Bhatt
after

Aashiqui?

Mahesh
probably
didn’t
have
a
role
for
me,
otherwise
he
would
have
come
to
me.

I
had
good
working
relationships
with
all
my
directors,
including
the
late
Mani
Kaul
with
whom
I
did

Cloud
Door,
which
opened
at
the
Cannes
film
festival.

I
learnt
so
much
from
my
directors.

So
why
did
you
give
up
acting
so
soon?
Did
you
get
disillusioned?

That
is
a
question
I
have
asked
myself.
My
life
veered
towards
yoga
and
spirituality,
towards
self-development.

I
was
getting
quite
disillusioned
by
the
massive
attention.

I
know
people
will
say
‘You
have
no
business
when
you
are
that
big
a
star
to
feel
disillusionment.’

But
for
me,
it
was
just
too
much.

I
would
come
home
after
shooting
and
often
sleep
hungry
because
I
was
living
alone
and
the
maid
hadn’t
come
or
I
didn’t
have
a
maid.
I
was
in
my
20s
and
didn’t
know
how
to
hire
people
nor
did
I
have
the
time.
Being
alone
and
handling
the
housekeeping
was
difficult
for
me.

Moreover,
I
had
already
worked
with
the
best
directors.

After
Cannes,
I
wanted
to
take
a
break
and
just
rest.

I
even
refused
a
Hollywood
offer.

In
1996,
International
Creative
Management,
one
of
the
largest
talent
management
agencies
in
Los
Angeles,
wanted
to
take
me
on.
I
was
excited
and
thought
I
may
join
them.
But
that
is
also
the
time
I
wanted
to
take
a
break.

I
had
started
meditating.

I
thought,
what
more
can
you
give
me
which
my
country
hasn’t
already
given?

I
was
tired,
I
wanted
to
take
some
time
off.
I
thought,
do
I
really
want
to
get
into
this
right
now?

So
I
decided
to
go
for
a
sabbatical.
I
didn’t
think
it
would
last
so
long.

How
did
you
get
into
yoga?

My
uncle
took
me
to
a
lecture
at
the
JJ
School
of
Arts.

I
heard
Guruji’s
lecture
on
yoga
and
was
hypnotised.

I
enrolled
as
a
student
and
filled
the
form
without
mentioning
I’m
a
movie
star.

I
was
chosen,
and
in
1997,
I
went
for
a
course
to
the
Bihar
School
of
Yoga.

We
had
40
students
from
20
different
countries,
and
I
was
among
the
top
two
students.

What
fascinated
you
about
yoga
enough
to
make
you
forsake
your
film
career?

I
thought
I
would
do
this
four-month
course
and
maybe
return
to
acting.

But
yoga
just
got
me.

I
loved
exploring
its
depth.

Then
I
got
into
Karm
Yoga.

I
wanted
to
know
more
about
the
Vedas,
about
Tantra.

People
don’t
know
that
I
have
a
very
strong
academic
side
to
me.

I
was
okay
with
a
simple
lifestyle
—
living
out
of
a
bag
and
sharing
the
room
with
someone.

I
was
in
Munger
(Bihar).
I
was
not
in
Mumbai,
I
had
locked
my
house
and
gone.

So
the
impression
that
you
veered
towards
spiritualism
only
after
your
life-threatening
accident
isn’t
true?

I
did
Vipassana
in
1991
just
after

Aashiqui.
I’ve
been
a
Vipassana
meditator
ever
since
and
that
has
really
channelised
my
mind.

Then,
from
1997,
I
was
living
in
the
Bihar
School
of
Yoga.
I
became
a
Karma
Yogi,
studying
the
depth
of
yoga,
and
living
that
Yogic
lifestyle.

Which
year
did
you
have
the
car
accident?

I
had
the
accident
in
1999.
I
had
come
back
to
sell
my
house.

Guruji
said
you
should
take

sanyas,
you
are
made
for
helping
people.

You
know
what
a
bad
accident
I
went
through.
The
doctor
said,
‘She
will
die.’

All
the
doctors
had
given
up
on
me.

They
say
that
even
an
accident
happens
for
a
purpose.

Absolutely.
It
took
me
to
the
next
level.
I
don’t
see
my
accident
as
a
bad
thing.

The
accident
was
a
blessing.

I’m
writing
a
book
on
that,
so
you’ll
read
about
it.

One
of
the
reasons
I
have
gotten
well
and
am
here
is
because
I
have
so
much
to
give
to
the
people
who
have
given
me
so
much.

I
had
been
on
a
spiritual
path
and
abandoned
everything.
I
even
shaved
my
head
in
2001.
For
four
years,
I
shaved
my
head
every
10
days.

I
lived
a
humble
life
without
any
belongings,
without
any
expectations…
just
learning
what
I
can
do
for
society.

Which
is
why
my
foundation
was
formed.
I’ve
been
speaking
around
the
world,
and
our
focus
is
mental
health.
Yoga
says
that
diseases
are
psychosomatic.
It
all
starts
in
the
mind.
You
calm
your
mind,
you
save
yourself.

Now,
it’s
also
time
for
me
to
spend
some
time
acting
because
it
can
go
together
with
my
work.

You
are
taking
another
leap
of
faith.

Acting
and
being
a
glamour
figure,
whether
I
like
it
or
not,
is
a
part
of
my
karma.

It
is
time
that
I
embrace
the
industry
that
has
brought
me
where
I
am
today.
To
give
back.
Also,
I
love
to
act.

Are
you
confident
the
film
industry
will
accept
you
back
with
open
arms?

The
industry
has
never
accepted
me.

When
I
was
shooting

Aashiqui,
I
would
hear
comments
like,
‘Yeh
toh
bahut
lambi
hai.
Heroine

nahin
dikhti
hai.
Models
acting

nahin
kar
paate.
And
then
they
would
say:
‘Rang
dekho.
Kaisa
makeup

karti
hai.’

But

Aashiqui
became
such
a
big
hit,
and
you
know
how
the
industry
is.
You
have
success,
then
you
have
everything.

Do
you
miss
the
high
of
that
period
—
the
fame
and
the
parties?

I’ve
been
to
the
biggest
party
with
the
top
actors
in
Los
Angeles
in
1995.
I
left
it.

For
me,
the
party
is
inside
now.

I
can
sit
at
home
and
meditate
and
there’s
no
bigger
party
than
that.