‘Relationships are never as simple as outsiders imagine, and it’s unfair to assume only one person is responsible when a marriage ends.’
Key Points
- ‘I’ve known Aamir for over 35 years, and have always admired his respect for the institution of marriage. Many people become cynical after a failed relationship, but not him. He has always treated marriage with dignity.’
- ‘Aamir and Gauri have known each other for many years. She is a friend of Imran Khan’s.’
- ‘Reena was like a rock. She stepped in to produce Lagaan because she knew Aamir needed her support. Whenever there were disagreements over budgets or production, Aamir never dismissed her views.’
Aamir Khan’s close friend and Lagaan co-star Amin Hajee has seen the superstar’s life up close. He has been a part of the big moments in Aamir’s life, including his most recent private wedding.
Amin shares rare insights into his relationships with his former wives Reena Dutta, and Kiran Rao and his current wife, Gauri Spratt.
He tells Patcy N/Rediff, “Every time he has moved on in life, he has done so responsibly. He has always ensured that his former family and children were looked after. Very few people acknowledge this.”
What was the best part about Aamir Khan’s wedding?
I think the best part was that we all met a day before the wedding, like how friends get together for lunch. It was a casual evening where Aamir had invited his closest friends. Gauri’s family was there too; they are such warm and wonderful people.
The celebrations were spread over two days.
The first evening was about getting to know one another. Although we were meeting Gauri’s family for the first time, it did not feel that way. It felt like we had known each other for years. They are such a loving family.
Were Gauri’s parents there?
Gauri lost her mother when she was very young, but her mother’s sister was there. Her father Bob (Robert Spratt) attended the wedding with his brother and sister. His brother had served as a senior police officer in Haryana.
Gauri’s twin sister Shauna was also there.
Their father loves riding bikes, and we spent a lot of time chatting with him.
They are an accomplished family, yet have absolutely no airs. They love Aamir and are very proud of him.
We never got the chance to meet Gauri’s mother, but after meeting her sister, we can imagine what she must have been like — graceful, affectionate, and warm.
The wedding was held at Aamir’s home. We didn’t follow any traditional wedding rituals. Many people have asked if there was a sangeet or other ceremonies, but there weren’t. We simply spent time together, chatted, laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company.
How did Aamir and Gauri’s love story begin?
About a year ago, Aamir invited a few of us to his home and said, ‘I want to talk to you about something.’
Gauri wasn’t there that day. He told us there was someone special in his life. Aamir is a very emotional person, and I remember he had tears of joy in his eyes.
He said, ‘I think I’ve found my magic.’
He also told us about Quinn, Gauri’s son, and spoke about him with immense affection and respect. That’s one quality Aamir has always had — he treats people with genuine respect.
I’ve known Aamir for over 35 years, and have always admired his respect for the institution of marriage. Many people become cynical after a failed relationship, but not him. He has always treated marriage with dignity.
People often joke about his personal life, but what they don’t see is how honest and fair he has been. Every time he has moved on in life, he has done so responsibly. He has always ensured that his former family and children were looked after. Very few people acknowledge this.
People make jokes about him finding love again after many years, but 15 years is a long time. I have seen him go through heartbreak. I have seen him cry. Relationships are never as simple as outsiders imagine, and it’s unfair to assume only one person is responsible when a marriage ends.
The truth is that Aamir is completely devoted to his work. Everything he does, he does with honesty and passion. Whether it is making films, Satyamev Jayate, or working through the Pani Foundation, he gives himself wholeheartedly.
That level of commitment comes at a personal cost. Anyone living with a person so deeply immersed in their work can sometimes feel neglected.
Even we, as his friends, have experienced what it is like to be around him. Whenever Aamir enters a room, everyone’s attention immediately goes to him. People admire him not just because he is a superstar but also his intelligence, his work, and the person he is.
People have called me only because they wanted an introduction to Aamir, to pitch a script or seek his support. That can be frustrating, but it also shows the kind of influence he has earned through years of hard work.
When Aamir introduced Gauri to the media on his 60th birthday, many people asked if they were planning to get married. At the time, he said no. What made him change his mind?
This is my personal opinion, but I think sometimes you wish for something without saying it out loud.
At that point, how could Aamir have answered that question? Maybe he hadn’t even proposed to Gauri yet. Aamir is extremely sensitive to other people’s feelings, and would never make such an announcement without first speaking to the person involved.
He never takes anyone for granted.
I’ll give you an example. When he agreed to act in my film Koi Jaane Na, he called me and asked, ‘Amin, do you mind if I do a role in your film?’
I was stunned. I told him, ‘If I had been driving when you asked me that, I would have had an accident! How can you even ask me? It would change the course of my life.’
But he simply said, ‘I didn’t want to overstep.’
He invited my wife Charlotte and me home so we could discuss it properly.
What is Gauri like?
She is an angel. She is a very mature and thoughtful person.
One thing she said really stayed with me. She told me, ‘I have a son who needs my attention and love. I have to make sure I find the right balance in this new phase of my life.’
That was such a responsible thing to say. She was thinking not only about herself, but also about her son and how this new relationship would affect him.
That also answers the earlier question. How could Aamir have spoken about marriage publicly before having those conversations with a mother, whose first priority is her young son?
Recently, my twin Kareem and I had serious health issues. He was initially told it was acidity, but it turned out to be angina. Around the same time, doctors discovered blockages in two of my main arteries, and I had to undergo a procedure to have two stents inserted.
Throughout that difficult period, Aamir and Gauri were there for us. Before my procedure, when I was feeling anxious, Gauri spoke to me gently and said, ‘Whenever you sit quietly by yourself, remind yourself that everything will be fine.’
Gauri is so spiritual, those words gave me a lot of comfort.
After the procedure, when I was coming out of sedation, she held my hand, looked into my eyes, and simply smiled. It was a small gesture, but meant a great deal to me.
Gauri was married before. Have you met her first husband?
Yes, once. They have a son together, and from what I’ve seen, they have maintained a respectful co-parenting relationship. She has not allowed that experience to make her bitter.
What do Aamir’s children call her?
They call her ‘Gauri’.
People often ask me what Aamir’s children think of her. The truth is, this wasn’t a sudden relationship.
Aamir and Gauri have known each other for many years. She is a friend of Imran Khan’s.
Gauri was introduced to Aamir’s children gradually. Aamir has been extremely sensitive to every relationship involved.
If you look at the wedding photographs, you’ll see everyone together: Azad, Quinn, Aamir’s mother, Gauri’s father Bob, her aunt Radha, and the rest of the family. It reflected their effort to make everyone feel included and valued.
Many of his friends like Rajkumar Hirani and Ashutosh Gowariker were present at the wedding.
How is Quinn’s relationship with Aamir?
Quinn is only five years old, and he simply calls him ‘Aamir’.
Their bond did not start recently, it has been like this for over a year.
One evening in Panchgani, we were sitting together, chatting, while Aamir was in the middle of a conversation with the collector of Satara. In the middle of that, Quinn called out to Aamir.
Then Quinn asked Aamir to read him a bedtime story.
Without a second thought, Aamir looked at us and said, ‘Guys, I’ll be back,’ and immediately got up to read Quinn his bedtime story.
Kiran Rao and Reena Dutta weren’t at the wedding though they were present at Ira’s wedding.
Kiran was in the UK at the time; Azad flew back for the wedding.
I think some absences are natural. Sometimes giving people their space is also a gesture of love and respect. You don’t want to make someone uncomfortable on such an important occasion.
But they continue to share a healthy relationship. Through the Paani Foundation, Aamir, Satya (Satyajeet Bhatkal), Kiran and Reena still work together professionally.
When Reena’s father passed away, Aamir asked Kareem and me if we could help. Reena was travelling at the time, and Aamir stayed until the final rites.
You had mentioned that Aamir went through a difficult phase after his first marriage. He had struggled with depression and alcohol before Kiran came into his life and brought stability. What went wrong between Aamir and Kiran?
That’s a question I’ve often asked myself. If someone can explain why two people fall in love, perhaps they can also explain why they fall out of love.
Relationships are far more complex. People evolve, they change, and sometimes they grow in different directions. Over time, they may realise they are no longer the same people they once were.
Aamir and Kiran were together for 15 years. When they told us they were separating, I was genuinely shocked.
But what impressed me was the way they handled it. Not once did they behave in a manner that suggested bitterness or hostility. Whatever was personal remained personal. There were no public arguments, no disrespect.
I don’t know what happened between them because they don’t discuss such personal reasons with us.
I have seen Kiran and Gauri chatting warmly. There’s no awkwardness or negativity.
You have known Aamir Khan through his three marriages.
I have been a part of two-and-a-half marriages because I became close to Aamir when Reena was pregnant with Ira. We’ve been friends since 1996.
Reena was a very quiet person. We became closer during Lagaan, which she produced while I was part of the cast.
How different are Reena, Kiran and Gauri?
Each of them is very different.
Reena was like a rock. She stepped in to produce Lagaan because she knew Aamir needed her support.
Whenever there were disagreements over budgets or production, Aamir never dismissed her views. He would patiently explain why certain decisions had to be made for the sake of the film. There was a great deal of mutual respect between them.
When Aamir told us that he and Reena were separating, I was heartbroken.
Kiran was a friend before she and Aamir fell in love. She was one of the assistant directors on Lagaan.
Once, during the shoot, I was ready except for the three saffron tikkas that my character wore. An assistant director rudely asked me to get ready. I reacted emotionally and refused to go on set.
Kiran then came and said, ‘Baggu, put the tikkas only when you feel ready. No one is going to force you.’
She did not make me feel guilty though I later realised she herself had probably been reprimanded because of the delay.
That’s how I remember Kiran: Intelligent and compassionate.
Gauri is special in her own way. We’ve spent time together in Panchgani, where she enjoys long walks, nature, and a simple lifestyle.
She’s an accomplished entrepreneur and has worked in the fashion and beauty business. But she does not talk about her achievements.
What stands out about Gauri is her emotional intelligence. She listens before she speaks. She prefers to understand every side of a situation before forming an opinion.
Photographs curated by Satish Bodas/Rediff
